Manic

Had to get out. Went over to Jeanne and Christy's for a couple of hours. Just a little conversation and laughter. I needed to laugh. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. Still no story ideas. Another day with little accomplishment. Should be used to those by now. What can I do to break out before I just start screaming? Maybe I should log on to SheKnows and get embroiled in a really heated debate. I just don't think I'm focused enough yet to present a valid argument for anything. "Because I said so," only really works with small children.

I have to find a proper outlet for this restlessness. The kids are beginning to act as out of control as I feel inside. They must be picking up on it. Part of it is the start of school on Monday. I just feel like the "soccer mom" role is coming to swallow me whole. I don't want to be defined that neatly. That is just not me. It's a part of me, to be sure, and I'm not saying that I don't enjoy it, but it's not the end all, be all of my existence. I am so much more and I wonder if anyone else even knows it sometimes.

Brandon is apparently seeing a young lady now. Makes me wonder how Pete and I will come across to our children's signifcant others. No matter how weird your family is, someone else's always seems weirder. I mean, how scary are we, for Christ's sake?? We have such an unusual dynamic in our relationship and in our family as a whole. I'm sure we'll scare off a lot of prospects for them. Hee hee. Guess that's the fun part of being a parent.

Hmmmm.....it seems like getting out was good. I feel tired and much more settled now. I bet if I took a sleeping pill I'd actually fall asleep at a semi-decent time. No drinking, no smokey treats tonight. Maybe a little music and daydreaming before bed, though. Maybe some good storyline will come to me. :)